A question to which we have all searched for an answer many times on the Internet - is there a medicine that can completely cure stuttering? Unfortunately, it doesn't exist. At least not the way you wish, which is to take a pill and stop stuttering, or to completely forget that you stutter and never stutter again. Fortunately, there are various ways, exercises and techniques which can be used to reduce stuttering and even eliminate it completely. This may seem confusing.
There is no cure for stuttering, but there are techniques to eliminate it. Isn't that the same thing? It's not. Stuttering is always there with you, and will be a part of you all your life, but there are certain techniques, programs which can teach you to completely overcome it and have control over it. This does not mean that you have gotten rid of stuttering, it means you have learned to use techniques and only through practice and work will you maintain that current state in which you are in control of your speech.
The longer you stutter - the more you have to work on yourself and your speech to overcome stuttering. That is why in all therapies it is very important to treat stuttering at an earlier age, because you are able to remove negative thoughts about stuttering much faster and more efficiently, so the person can be "cured".
You must be wondering which program/therapy offers all of the above? It's no secret, Valmod therapy in Varaždin is currently said to be the best therapy for people who stutter and I attended it myself and must say that it is excellent. As mentioned above, you learn the technique, the basics, and then you have to maintain everything you built there yourself.
Some people do not need further exercise after therapy, while others do, and you find yourself in a situation where you choose for yourself - do I want to stop stuttering or not? If you do, you will continue to practice as often as necessary. If someone offered you a choice and told you "You will stop stuttering if you set aside 45 minutes for yourself every day" - would you accept it? Of course you would accept. Therefore, if you haven't already, I strongly advise you to look into this therapy and, if you can, do it.
Another well-known "therapy" or approach to stuttering was described by Lee G. Lovett in his book "Stuttering and Anxiety - Self-Therapy", which impressed me so much that I will share her ideas with you in chapter 7, "Therapies and methods in the fight against stuttering".
"I don't understand. You went through therapy, but you said you still stutter. Why?" – is your next question. The answer is perhaps even more strange - because I overcame stuttering!
What does it mean "to overcome" stuttering?
Yes, I overcame the stutter. How did I overcome stuttering if I still stutter? This is how:
- stuttering does not affect my life choices;
- stuttering doesn't make me sad or angry;
- stuttering is not an obstacle for me in anything;
- stuttering is a part of me as a person;
- if I could choose to never have stuttered, I wouldn't choose it;
- I'm not ashamed of stuttering;
- I don't consider myself a less valuable person if I stutter.
Stuttering does not affect my life choices
Why should stuttering affect your choices in life? Need to buy something at a bakery or grocery store? Why are you unable to do this? Are you afraid of stuttering? Well, it doesn't matter, you might get stuck talking, but you'll get it done. Are you afraid of a new job, new environment, new people? You have no reason to! People who do not understand your problem and mock you, have no place in your life. The same principle applies to any other problem. Whether it is physical or psychological. Surround yourself with people you trust, with whom you feel comfortable with and live your life happier.
Stuttering doesn't make me sad or angry
Why would you be sad, angry or depressed about something that you (almost) cannot change? If stuttering bothers you a lot, there are always therapies you can go to and try to overcome stuttering if it is a big problem in your life. There are two options available to you:
- eliminate stuttering by going to therapy, work on speech systematically and improve it;
- stop thinking negatively about stuttering and accept it as a part of you.
Nobody will help you but yourself! If you are not satisfied with something, you have to do something about it. Stuttering won't just go away! Both options are good and both options actually reduce stuttering. When you accept your stuttering, it only becomes less because stuttering loses much importance in your life and you can stop thinking about it as much and it has no effect on you whatsoever. Of course, stuttering is persistent and always present, so sometimes it will try to return and become a part of your negative thoughts again, but chase it away, let it go back to where it belongs, because negative thoughts have no place in your head!
Stuttering is not an obstacle for me in anything
A long time ago I wrote an article "Stuttering as an obstacle in life" in which I tried to explain why we should not set the bar too low in life. It is true that you may not be able to be a tv anchorman or sports commentator and you would probably not be hired (although I believe you could even do that after a certain time when you get used to the pressure and environment), but it is not true that you cannot do hundreds of other jobs that require little communication. In 90% of situations, repetition is the only thing important.
The first time I spoke in English in front of a group of 30 people, I had a terrible stage fright. After the 10th time I did the same thing, I was more relaxed, I stuttered a lot less, I didn't care and neither did anyone else cared about my stuttering. Even a colleague at work, with whom I worked for five years, told me that he noticed that I was "stuck" here and there, but he did not know that I stuttered! It's just proof that we exaggerate that "problem" in our heads and pretend it's a big problem, and we shouldn't!
Stuttering is a part of me as a person
I have often wondered what kind of person I would be if I never had stuttered. Maybe I would have been violent, maybe I wouldn't have achieved all that I have achieved so far. Maybe I would simply be a "bad" person, caring only about myself and neglecting others. Since I myself firmly believe in the expression "Being positive is the key to everything", I also believe that stuttering has given us certain positive characteristics as traits.
People confide in us very easily, we are reliable when it comes to keeping secrets, we are good communicators because we carefully listen to what the other person is saying and we empathize with their problems. Maybe we wouldn't have developed any of those valuable human qualities if we never stuttered? Maybe not, but I strongly believe that stuttering had a role in their development.
If I could choose to never have stuttered, I wouldn't choose it
Because of the previously mentioned reasons, I would never choose not to stutter or not to have stuttered. In my opinion, the biggest step for every person is to "make peace" with yourself and love yourself. Because - how will you be able to love others if you don't love yourself? How will you be content with life if you are not content with yourself?
If you are not happy with yourself, stop for a moment and think about what exactly you are not happy with, what would you change about yourself and why? Physical appearance? Why? Why do some little things bother you, for example on your face, maybe that is exactly what someone else will fall in love with and find super cute? Every "flaw" of yours is something someone else finds attractive. Be who you are, love yourself! Are you not satisfied with certain psychological characteristics? Change them!
I'm not ashamed of stuttering
Why should you be ashamed of stuttering? Stuttering is not something you can stop, control or anything similar (at least not completely). Other people's reactions to stuttering have always been cute and funny to me. Of course, there are people who make fun of this problem, but I quickly forget or do not pay any attention to them. Other reactions are mostly a smile or, if they look, I just laugh, which leads to laughter on both sides in the end. Do not confuse fear and jitters with shame. There is no shame in stuttering, nor is it a shame to have a certain fear of stuttering. Aristotle himself said "He who has conquered his fears will truly be free"!
I don't consider myself a less valuable person if I stutter
Through emails and questions on the mucanje.com Facebook page, the hardest thing for me is when I hear that someone thinks they are less valuable if they stutter. Why feel less valuable if you stutter? True friends and people will always look at and appreciate you for your qualities, not for whether you stutter or not. If you have "friends" who make fun of you, laugh at you or are bothered by your stuttering, they are not your real friends, so stay away from such people in your life. This rule is not only a rule for stuttering but also for everything in life in general.
As you can see, "to overcome" stuttering does not always mean stopping it. Winning in this case means accepting stuttering as a part of your persona, a part of you. To overcome stuttering means accepting and loving yourself and appreciating all your qualities. Would I like to stop stuttering right now if I could? Honestly - I would.
At this moment, I consider that I have built myself as a person, but no, I don't need to work on my speech and reduce or completely eliminate stuttering, because it doesn't bother me at all in my life. If I could snap my fingers and stop stuttering at all - why not? I would do that, but not to be more satisfied with my life, but, to be honest, to try what it's like to live without stuttering, entirely out of curiosity.
Why should it be different for you? Why fight with negative thoughts every day if there is a possibility to defeat them? It is always the hardest to work on yourself and nothing can be done overnight. It takes a lot of will, positive thoughts and, of course, a healthy environment - the support of friends, family, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife. Surround yourself with positive people, people you trust and can confide in, start with small battles and come out as a winner!